I WAS walking across the lobby toward the elevator of our office when I heard someone chastising one of the receptionists on duty. She was asking the receptionist why she does not have access to the meeting room on the 6th floor and she gratingly added, “Do you know who I am?” The receptionist scrambled to notify security to assist them, but the tension was not lost on anybody who was at the lobby at the time. She was, in fact, one of the executives of the company but based on her reputation, nobody wants to work with her—and for good reason.
There are leaders who think their position automatically accords them respect and influence. True, they may have worked hard to attain their position and their accomplishment track record may be impeccable, but to maintain their team’s respect and extend their influence they need to work through people in attaining more than they can achieve as individuals. And how they deal with their team reflects how far they are willing to achieve their set goals.
One of the significant qualities a leader needs to have to maximize the potential of their team is patience. Patience is the ability to pause in the face of delays, aggravation, or incompetence without reacting in disrespect or anger. And patient leaders typify compassion, open-mindedness, and adaptability to difficult situations. People want to work with patient leaders because they know that patient leaders also have time and tolerance to teach them in a calm and engaging way. Patience also paves the way for trust to develop between leaders and their team members.
There are several ways for you to develop patience in the workplace. The most common of which is to pause. Pausing, or some would say counting 1 to 10, gives you time to recover and think, and allows you to think through what needs to be done. People tend to react to situations more than assessing the content of where people are coming from that they tend to lose sight of what needs to be done because they are more concerned with how it would reflect on them as a leader. Some overreact to the point that they forget other people are looking at them, like the executive who used her position to get her way. While we need to empathize and become sensitive to the needs of our team, there is value in being emotionally detached to situations so you can objectively evaluate such and recommend a reasonable action plan.
In assessing the logic behind people’s actions, it would also do you well to see it from the lens of others. After identifying what needs to be done, you also need to understand why your teammate did not see it the way you do. As a leader you have an overview of what is happening in the entire organization and your team members do not necessarily share the same view. Your role as a leader is to make them understand why their actions and decisions will not benefit the organization, and consider what needs to be changed so your team does not repeat the same mistakes. It takes a great deal of patience going through those steps but it will save you time from members repeatedly making mistakes. By being patient, you teach not just a member but the whole team.
When in doubt, ask questions and listen. And when you do ask questions, be positive in the way you deliver it.
Sometimes, team members can also do things opposite of what we would expect them to act if we were in their position. In this case, ask a lot of questions—and this takes patience, especially when they say or do something diametrically opposite to what we tell them to do. We cannot change people per se but we can influence them to do what needs to be done and help them understand why we do the things we need to do. It takes a great deal of patience especially in dealing with team members who are set in their ways. But if you want to succeed, you will have to pull up your bootstraps and mentor them until they understand. You may be the smartest leader in the whole world but if you cannot influence someone, your knowledge will be useless.
A lot of the time, leaders lose patience because they do not foresee what could go wrong and they react more than get a grip on what needs to be done. There are several ways you can prevent yourself from being impatient. One is creating back-up plans so when things go awry, you have other options. Look out for tension points and areas for potential conflict or confusion before they snowball into an altercation. Proactive solutions help you keep your cool, more than leaving plans up in the air.
As a leader, you also need to identify your trigger points so you know when you are losing patience, and catch yourself before it becomes an outburst. Physical manifestations like tensed muscles, clenched teeth, shortened breath, irritability, and making rash decisions imply a trigger point. List those down and ask yourself why it bothers you. Knowing the reason will help you avoid them in the future, and help you develop a plan to overcome them when needed.
Just like a muscle, you can also help build your patience up by putting yourself in situations where your patience is tested. One way is in traffic. None has tested my patience more than being stuck in traffic or being cut off by reckless motorists. I have realized that by taking a deep breath or thinking that the driver probably has an emergency, helps me become patient. In office settings, talking to difficult people from your team or from another department will help you exercise patience and have a better grip on how you react.
I once saw a book titled Lord, Give Me Patience, and Give It to Me Right Now! written by James W. Moore. While the title is funny, it speaks so much of how difficult it is to be patient. But as a leader, it is one of the indispensable traits which help you develop trust and extend your influence over your team and even in the organization.